Last night while surfing around on Facebook, I got a PM from Ilona asking if I'd gotten an email about Kasha and if she had really died. Me: WHAAAAAAAAT?! I had not gotten any emails about anyone dying (apparently Eryn only sent emails to a select few), and I did some sleuthing of my own and read the latest Facebook statuses to see who else might know something about this. Seeing Amber R online, I asked her what happened, and she sent me a link to an online article. It said that Kasha and her husband were both dead, victims of an apparent murder-suicide, and that Kasha had been shot multiple times.
I couldn't believe it. This was too surreal. Last January during my surgery rotation, a woman was brought to the JPS ER with GSW to the eye after her husband shot her before turning the gun on himself. She didn't survive, and I later read online that she and her husband left behind a 4-year-old daughter. Even back then, I wondered how men like that could be so selfish and cruel. And now, especially after visiting the Holocaust museum which vividly detailed the many crimes men commited against other men, I find myself wondering why this happened, and to Kasha, of all people, who had so much going for her. Ranked high in our class, applying for a dermatology residency, mother to 8-year-old twins...it really is such a waste.
Dr. Moorman held a meeting at Luibel at 4 pm today so that we could discuss what had happened to Kasha, so I went and found many familiar faces there: Jenny, Mike W, Jeff, Hunaid, Lauren, Kim, Carisa, Asuka, both Ambers, and Rick, to name just a few. I could see Rachel, Blakely, and Lori being interviewed by CBS in the atrium, so I stayed away from there. Amber L, Molly, and Venessa were crying hard. Desiree and Kate, Kasha's closest friends, were nowhere to be found. At times I felt like I shouldn't even be there because Kasha and I were mere acquaintances at best. But then I remembered Kasha introducing herself to me on the first day of orientation, volunteering with her at the Juvenile Diabetes walk and seeing her take balloons home for her twins, saying hello to her in the halls, and decided that I had to stay. Even though I didn't know her as well as others did, the fact remained that I knew her, and that was enough.
Dr. Moorman thanked us for coming and offered us a chance to ask any questions or just share memories of Kasha. There was awkward silence for what seemed like a long time, and then Amber said there were many unanswered questions at the moment. Rick took the microphone and told of how he ran into Kasha five weeks ago and how despite her high GPA and research experience, she was still worried that she wouldn't match into derm, and he'd assured her that she would. He said that when he thought of how Kasha's kids were now orphans, it made him angry because they would have to live with the knowledge of how their parents died, and that the direction their lives will take now is not what Kasha envisioned for them. Molly then said that she thought it was unfair for this to happen to Kasha (something we all agree with) and that Kasha deserved her DO degree posthumously because she earned it. Blakely told of how she ran into Kasha on the interview trail and how they'd spent time chatting about why they wanted to do derm, and in Kasha's case it was so that she could have time to spend with her family. There's to be a candlelight vigil held at the Atrium this Thursday, but I'll be in Denver at the time so I won't be able to make it. In the meantime, there's going to be a toy drive for Kasha's two kids, and the family will let us know if there'll be a memorial service in Texas (according to Molly, Kasha is going to be buried in Louisiana) And of course, our yearbook will be dedicated to Kasha, and the class officers will find a way to honor her at graduation.
Dr. M was there, as well as the EAP counselors, and he said that grieving is a part of healing. One of the EAP psychologists said that it's not important that we get over Kasha's death, which we never will, but that we get past it. Easier said than done, when I could hear people sniffling and blowing into tissues behind me. No one will be getting past this anytime soon.
*sigh* Why did this have to happen?
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2 comments:
I have to say I feel a lot of anger. Not necessarily at Pablo, not necessarily at God, but probably a combination of both. Just so senseless and devastating
I feel angry about all this, too, and I can't help but wonder, did Pablo ever once think of his two children, what he'd be doing to them by depriving them not only of their mother, but their father as well? *sigh* Whatever his reasons, murder followed by suicide is a truly selfish act.
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